Running

I am running from something... I turn up the music whenever these feelings come, but they keep coming back. I just want to feel happy all the time... but this loneliness won't let me. Other people are too much trouble. I just want to live the way I want. I just want to dance for my own enjoyment... I just wanna wear stuff that clashes... I just wanna define my own destiny, at every moment of my life... I just wanna make myself happy... and if that means no one will have me... then they are too much trouble anyway...
I am running from:

• my expectations of my life
• my loneliness
• myself
• my own knowledge of how I could not be lonely, but I don't wanna pay the price.

So until I decide to pay the price:

• I will keep playing music that stops me from thinking.
• I will keep watching fantasy and science fiction movies.
• I will keep reading books that transport me to another world... a better world.
• .. and never books, or movies, or music that makes me think about this one...

I will keep myself so busy I never stop to think about my life...

Until I finally go crazy and

then

my

made

up

world

never

ends...

Writely

I just found this cool editor ... Just testing it... Maybe I will post in the future using it..

Robot Airplanes, Computer Games and Boy's Toys

This Wired article makes me remember the warnings my parents used to give me about playing violent computer games. It isn't real, I would always say, and I would never do this in real life. But now the army has a computer game interface on a real weapon... Have you ever seen how violent us kids get in a computer game? What if we don't know (or forget) it is actually real?

What if we are Alone

I don't really have any evidence of God's existence that is harder than my own fleeting impressions of divine influence, and the human brain sees what it wants to see. I need to believe that God exists, because then the world might make a little sense, and the happy endings I long for might be possible... but I don't have any hard proof that God exists... Maybe my family, church and friends are all lost in the same self-delusion...

What if we are really alone in the Universe?
What if what I thought was God's influence, and concern was only my own wishful thinking?

What if the world is not following a perfect plan?
What if I am the only one who is looking out for me?
What if I am the only one who really cares?

What if when we die, we really end?

If there is no God, then it only makes sense to:

Live for me alone...

Dive into hedonistic pleasure...

Just get doped senseless...

Live. Love. Laugh. Listen...

but hurry... cause you are going to end tomorrow...

Mad World

I've been watching Smallville Season 2, and at the end of Episode 11, it almost had me crying with the song Mad World by Michael Andrews...
The link above is to a music video with this song...

So There!

Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.Oscar Wilde

One of my mentors once told me that I was about as reliable as a fart in a windstorm, and I have finally come up with a comeback...

Andy Said It... I'll believe it

I am a deeply superficial person.Andy Warhol

My kinda Cooking!

Now this is my kinda cooking... Bachelor style - Marvelous!

Freedom of Information

You can only protect your liberties in this world by protecting the other man's freedom. You can only be free if I am free. Clarence Darrow

As long as knowledge can be owned it will never be free. Aron

As long as a man can be owned, no man is free, so as long as information and knowledge can be owned, no information will ever be quite free... The problem with the english language is that we don't distinguish between ($)free($) and freedom. I suppose a man's freedom is not sold and bought anymore, and so it is free, but this is because it is priceless, not because its price is nothing... Certain information (like the knowledge that all man are created equal) is also priceless, and must also be free... but unfortunately, I fear that Americans will find a way to put a price on it, just as we are quickly putting a price on other valuable things (like clean air and water, and open land, and natural resources, and even love...) Why can't we value something without putting a price on it? We even put a price on life itself (actuary tables anyone?)

We must not believe the many, who say that only free people ought to be educated, but we should rather believe the philosophers who say that only the educated are free. Epictetus (from Discourses)

Pisces - All about the sun sign pisces

I just watched "Alot Like Love", so I had to find out what my sign was.
Traditional Pisces Traits

Imaginative and sensitive
Compassionate and kind
Selfless and unworldly
Intuitive and sympathetic

On the dark side....

Escapist and idealistic
Secretive and vague
Weak-willed and easily led

... This explains alot...

War

When the rich wage war it's the poor who die. Jean-Paul Sartre, The Devil and the Good Lord (1951) act 1

...We drew our own constellations...

Just listening to Jack Johnson...

It was just another night
With a sunset and a moonrise
Not so far behind
To give us just enough light
To lay down underneath the stars
We listened to Papa's translations
Of the stories across the sky
We drew our own constellations

The last line made me remember a love long past, and how one night we really did draw constellations together... Will that ever happen again?...

Color Schemes - Too Complicated for Me

I just don't get color schemes and what matches... The link above shows a color scheme dreamed up by my super-sister Lydia. I added it to my website (along with a list of my last 10 played songs are, using Audio Scrobbler. Pretty cool that... RSS and php and stuff is simple compared to the rules of color matching... (Maybe I only call it complicated because I am just so bad at it...)
Aron

Color Matching

I do website design for a living as well as a hobby, which means sometimes I have to come up with a color that blends well with others. I am really just a computer geek and have no sense of style whatsoever... Sometimes I put Navy with Black... which my sister tells me is an absolute no-no. My creative out-of-the-box thinking side rebels against these sorts of absolute rules, but I guess I should submit to the fact that I am not an expert in this area.
Anyway... I found a color blending tool that just might help me for my web design... Now if I could only find a way to integrate this into my closet, and I will never need a women's help again...

Now you know...

be sorted @ nimbo.net